I find that I’m at the precipice of a lifestyle change. Or already going through one. My opinions are changing, and some stances solidifying. I’m standing on my square and witnessing it morph into a cube.
I always say…
I have no answers.
But I’m ever finding that I indeed have a few.
1) This short hair throws people off. They see Lupita…then see me…then see these beads, and make an identification that serves no one. I can understand the significance of an ankh and be a priest and fantasize about nude Christian Louboutin pumps. I will have them one day. Yes GAWD…
2) On the note of pumps, I’ve been working at Nordstrom for almost 4 months and it has been an outstanding experience. In this short time, I’ve learned why some shirts just have to cost $200, some dresses $400, and some suits $1000. TJ Maxx isn’t the answer for MANY things in life, just as much as your entire wardrobe doesn’t have to be full of luxury pieces. But please, invest in your visual brand. People who know better and have the means spend money for Service, Experience, and Quality. Eat your heart out H&M.
3) Look is one thing. Value is another. I finally moved into a place (as a housemate) at the top of February. Lots of investment. Much excitement at the obvious progress. People celebrated with me. Check out my current situation, with a view of Downtown Atlanta.
Amazing right? Meh. On day 3, I learned that my housemates were bigots. Homophobic. Racially prejudice. And disrespectful…counting out my rent AND deposit in cash when I told them that I like salmon croquettes and oxtails #NoLie…I was eventually told that I wasn’t allowed to bring meat into the home. Otherwise, I was given a solid
“You can go.”
Imagine my panic only 3 days in – how could something so seemingly perfect be so horrible? So here I am today, praying and searching for a home that’s safe and secure. It can even be a little ugly, as long as it’s mine.
4) My MBA doesn’t make me entitled to anything. Not to money, amenities, nor opportunities. (I remember my PhD friend and her PhD husband who lived on $13k a year with two small children….oh, how I cried!!) I’m finding that my degree alone usually impresses people who have no opportunity for me. But that degree and experience is mine, and I’d never give it back. #FAMUforever
5) Music Heals. Prayer Heals. (good) Sex heals. They must all be of God. Selah.
6) On the note of sex, it’s best with someone you care for. Even better with someone who says they care for you. Eeeeeven better when they show it. Sex, love, affection, support, prayer and friendship from/with a segzy man in a dark hour almost makes me wanna ovulate. But #IUD. Thanks Bae for being a firestarter in the midst of winter.
That’s all I’ve got right now. This is my Saturday dish for those who’ve been curious. Atlanta is hard, and I am tired.
But despite it all…in the midst of every turn…I haven’t made a mistake. Not one. Not yet. And even though I’m scared sometimes, I have no fear. Because I think that Fear is a force that keeps you from moving forward.